To the woman at Burger King:

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I watched your daughter run around today. I loved her sweet smile and listened to her infectious laugh. She was one of those kids that you’d just love to take home with you–especially since I’d love to have a girl someday. I smiled when I saw her earrings and told my friend how cute her clothes were. I saw her blow kisses as my son told her goodbye…and I listened with disappointment as you proceeded to tell your one year old daughter that boys are bad.

Now even though you said this right in front of me, I thought about just brushing it off. I’m sure it was an innocent comment and you didn’t think before you said it. But some of the most damaging things can start that way. Some of the things that stick with kids the longest are things you didn’t think they even paid attention to.

You don’t know my son. You don’t know that his favorite thing is snuggling. You don’t know that he tells me how beautiful I am without make up, but still helps me curl my eyelashes because he knows I like to. You don’t know that even though he’s only five, he opens doors for me and comforts me when I’m sad. Or that some mornings I wake up to him stroking my face and smiling at me. You’ve never listened to the enthusiasm in his voice when he explains his video games to me. You don’t know that he loves buying me flowers. Or that he’s afraid of ladybugs. And zombies.

Now I’m not the mother of a daughter, but I am a daughter. And it seems to me a little counterproductive to teach our girls that all boys are bad. That’s not going to keep them away from boys. Nothing is going to do that. If we’re telling them that boys are just all bad then aren’t they more likely to settle? Why look for something good when you’re taught it doesn’t exist? Some boys are bad…just as some girls are bad. Some people are bad. I think we should be basing our judgements off character and not gender. To make a statement that 50% of the population is “bad” because they weren’t born female is just absurd.

So why not teach her how to respect herself without disrespecting others in the process? Teach her to wait for the boy who will snuggle with her and tell her she’s beautiful. One that will open doors, comfort her, and buy her flowers. The boy who will share his hobbies and his fears with her. I intend to do my job and raise my son to do all of these things so please do yours and teach your little girl to keep her eye open for someone like him when she gets older because contrary to popular belief, nice boys do exist.

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EDIT: She contacted me so here’s part 2 of the story
https://lynzeeleigh.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/follow-up-the-woman-contacted-me/

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324 thoughts on “To the woman at Burger King:

  1. very well said. I have myself a boy like yours. πŸ™‚ so loving and caring. I’d feel terrible to hear someone say something like that. I hope that mother realizes what she is doing or that she has a boy of her own so she can no longer say boys are bad …..

  2. I think we should be basing our judgements of character and not gender. So why not teach her how to respect herself without disrespecting others in the process?

    That’s ultimate statement!

  3. To me it’s absolutely incredible that it was shared enough for her to read and reply. I mean whether it’s a my lack of skills of writing or not, no one in my city would ever reply much less read what I took time to post. Not that it matters much to me anyway. I post for myself.

    Either way. This is one of the first posts I have ever gone back to and re-read, then shared with my colleagues. It was beautifully written and completely emphatic. May your son as well as yourself continue to be the touching, loving, expression filled, open minded people you are.

    Great post πŸ™‚

  4. Reblogged this on sixFwords and commented:
    While attempting to familiarize myself with the WordPress community I came across a blog who that I quickly fell in love with. I assume it’s because we have similarity, she has a son and so do I, and with that there was a entry she wrote and I could not get out of my head. I will admit, I started to cry…..

    Her post titled To the woman at Burger King: was well written expressing an encounter she had while at burger king involving her son and the topic of β€œboys are bad”. I would like to just throw out there that I do have a son, so I’m pretty sure that influences by bias towards favoring the piece, but at the same time her point was spot on.

    I have a son yet I am a daughter and like Lynzee I was taught to respect others regardless of gender and I plan to teach my son the same. Please read it, via To the woman at Burger King:

  5. shehbaz1992

    Reblogged this on shehbaz1992 and commented:
    This not a good style to teach the girls in such a way that in their adult age, they just hate the boys. It change their mind-set, romantic and beautiful life, which is for both boys and girls, spoiled. It should teach the girl that how to avoid or know the bad boys.

  6. I loved reading this. Thank you. I hope everyone teaches their children good values like those your son seems to display, no matter if they are a boy or a girl. I certainly hope I can teach my two girls such lessons. πŸ™‚

      • Love this! My blog is about teaching people how to coparent after the relationship is over, but this story just opened it up to teaching how that bitterness I talk about.. Bleeds on to our children. We break their spirits with our “stuff”. Bless your loving son, and may all of your work result in him having the love he deserves when he becomes a man.

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