Follow up: The Woman Contacted Me

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So turns out, if you live in a small town, it’s difficult to be passive aggressive via blogging. I shared “To The Woman At Burger King:” on Facebook soon after I posted it and it quickly spread around my friends’ pages, then their friends’ pages and so on. Very soon after, I received a message. It was from the woman I wrote to. She read the post and recognized that I was talking about her. Obviously I meant what I said, but I was still nervous to read her response as I never thought she’d actually see it. (There’s a lesson in that somewhere…)

She introduced herself, explained who she was, and proceeded to sincerely apologize for her comment. She said she didn’t mean to hurt anyone and tries to be the best parent she can be. I told her not to take it personally as it really is a problem with society. We shared stories about the men who have screwed us over and she told me the blog actually made her tear up while she was reading it. She said she’d watch what she said to her daughter from now on and that my son is going to grow up to be great.

I’ve gained so much respect for her from that. She didn’t have to contact me–I never would have known who she was. And she didn’t have to take it well. Honestly, if it’d been me, I think my hot-headed self would have either ignored it or been sassy about it (just because I have this issue with criticism and taking things personally…I’m working on it). This turned out to be the best case scenario for how this could have played out and she genuinely took what I said to heart.

I didn’t expect that post to end up getting the response it has…and I definitely didn’t expect her to get the chance to read it. I’m grateful people actually took the time to share it and maybe it made a difference. So thank you.

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To the woman at Burger King:

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I watched your daughter run around today. I loved her sweet smile and listened to her infectious laugh. She was one of those kids that you’d just love to take home with you–especially since I’d love to have a girl someday. I smiled when I saw her earrings and told my friend how cute her clothes were. I saw her blow kisses as my son told her goodbye…and I listened with disappointment as you proceeded to tell your one year old daughter that boys are bad.

Now even though you said this right in front of me, I thought about just brushing it off. I’m sure it was an innocent comment and you didn’t think before you said it. But some of the most damaging things can start that way. Some of the things that stick with kids the longest are things you didn’t think they even paid attention to.

You don’t know my son. You don’t know that his favorite thing is snuggling. You don’t know that he tells me how beautiful I am without make up, but still helps me curl my eyelashes because he knows I like to. You don’t know that even though he’s only five, he opens doors for me and comforts me when I’m sad. Or that some mornings I wake up to him stroking my face and smiling at me. You’ve never listened to the enthusiasm in his voice when he explains his video games to me. You don’t know that he loves buying me flowers. Or that he’s afraid of ladybugs. And zombies.

Now I’m not the mother of a daughter, but I am a daughter. And it seems to me a little counterproductive to teach our girls that all boys are bad. That’s not going to keep them away from boys. Nothing is going to do that. If we’re telling them that boys are just all bad then aren’t they more likely to settle? Why look for something good when you’re taught it doesn’t exist? Some boys are bad…just as some girls are bad. Some people are bad. I think we should be basing our judgements off character and not gender. To make a statement that 50% of the population is “bad” because they weren’t born female is just absurd.

So why not teach her how to respect herself without disrespecting others in the process? Teach her to wait for the boy who will snuggle with her and tell her she’s beautiful. One that will open doors, comfort her, and buy her flowers. The boy who will share his hobbies and his fears with her. I intend to do my job and raise my son to do all of these things so please do yours and teach your little girl to keep her eye open for someone like him when she gets older because contrary to popular belief, nice boys do exist.

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EDIT: She contacted me so here’s part 2 of the story
https://lynzeeleigh.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/follow-up-the-woman-contacted-me/

Jayden’s Minion Party

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Found the yellow version of these precious marshmallows on Pinterest. We decided to do “bad guy minions” from the second movie too and used cotton candy as their hair. The rest consists of marshmallows, melting chocolate, candy eyes, frosting, and fruit roll ups for the pants.

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Googled “minion printables” and found these. I typed the labels on them and printed them on cardstock.

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The Positives

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New Year’s Eve seems like such an appropriate time to finally get this out. A relationship ended for good in 2013 and that sucks. It always does in some way. There’s really no getting around that. But there are SO many things I learned and experienced throughout this year that I wouldn’t have if I’d still been a part of that bad situation. I’m so grateful for them all.

I wouldn’t have stayed quite so late at night in Clack and I wouldn’t have the amazing memories with some of THE best people I’ve ever met.

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I wouldn’t have had the hurt to draw from for my artwork and senior show.

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I probably wouldn’t be as close to Mal!

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I probably would have seen Taylor in Detroit…

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…but not Chicago.

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…and not Nashville! NASHVILLE!!!

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We might not have gotten our precious princess Penny.

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And I KNOW we wouldn’t have gotten Charlie.

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I wouldn’t have had the BEST trip to Kalahari thus far. Which means I wouldn’t have these great photos.

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I wouldn’t have my perfect new car! ❤

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Which taught me that I can accomplish things all by myself.

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I found out who is going to stick by me no matter what and who’s going to dip out.

I learned I’m a better mother when I’m a happy mother.

I learned how to love the right way. Not the desperate, unhealthy, need them to make you feel worthy of anything good kind of way…but the caring, only want them to be happy, bow down gracefully and fade into the background if it’s not what they want kind of way.

And I learned how to move on. I learned there’s no right way or wrong way to do it, there’s no time frame. It doesn’t matter how quickly you’re able to or if the hurt drags on for years. What matters is that you do it. 2013 was the worst and greatest year and it was miserable and magical ;).